God is only a computer away!

DTNODYA

______________
Jul 27, 2005
2,533
1
0
#2
That was funny as shizzle... here is my conversation with God.

Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
where u live?
God:
I was.
Me:
not alive LIVE!
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
DAMN!!
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
u crazy!
God:
I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".
Me:
you win
God:
Thank you very much. What is the prize?
 

OneEvilPenguin

CEO of Niggers with Candy
Aug 23, 2005
350
0
0
Africa
#3
Wow that made my day
me-"i have sex with cattle"
god-"do you still have sex with cattle?"
me-"I thought you were all knowing"
god-"No, I am only partly knowing."
 
May 9, 2005
395
2
0
#5
LOL, mine was funnier



Me:
are you gay?

God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:
i thought god wasnt a machine?

God:
Whatever gave you that idea?

Me:
your mom

God:
Actually I do not have a mother.

Me:
is she dead?

God:
I don't think she wants me to tell you.

Me:
i thought you said you dont have one

God:
Yeah I do a lot of not have one.

Me:
bye

God:
Bye bye.

Me:
cya

God:
TTYL, brian.
 
Last edited:
J
#6
Me:
u like porns?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
you like porns right? and dont F## lie to me
God:
Do you like it? I like to talk about movies and music. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
go away noob
God:
OK See you later, zz.
Me:
im gonna eat you
God:
I would recommend the Grilled cheese sandwiches.
Me:
i eat noobs
God:
How does it taste?
Me:
go away and say hi to mom
God:
OK See you later, zz.
 

bluesheep

wooooooooaaaahhh!
Oct 6, 2004
3,519
326
0
28
CANADIA
#7
Me:
hey g-unit
God:
You've got my full attention. Can we get back to business?
Me:
sure why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " You've got my full attention. Can we get back to business? "? Why?
Me:
sure....
God:
OK let's do it. Ayuh.
Me:
do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
....sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
do you know about goatse?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
explorer
God:
it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
Me:
yeah, so DO you know about goatse
God:
Give me a break. Come on. I will search for it.
Me:
tell me when you find it (pwned)
God:
I will keep you informed of my progress.
Me:
find it yet?
God:
"it" being goatse?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
BWAHAHAHAHA
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
go on...
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
so...are you watching me at this moment?
God:
I see. Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me:
that's creepy
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
no problem
God:
Try asking me something else.
Me:
you like bukkake
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like the Bible.
Me:
do you like bukkake?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I really like the party.
Me:
errr....yes
God:
Ummm. Yeah that's right.
Me:
whats heavan like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
makes sense...
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
did you just call me a dinosaur?
God:
No I didn't call you a dinosaur. What's it like?
Me:
nevermind
 
May 9, 2005
395
2
0
#8
Me:
i like chciks wih hot asses
God:
You are not the only one. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Matthew.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
why do you like mathew
God:
I have a lot of good experience with mathew.
Me:
does he touch you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
i think he might
God:
Since when? I get it. might.
Me:
you and mathew sitting in a tree
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
yah
God:
I thought so.
 

SyntheticSocks

Scotchgaurd
Premium
Jan 10, 2005
5,254
108
0
27
Pumpkin Gets A Snakebite
#10
Me:
Hi there god
God:
GOD rules. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
That's quite an ego you got of your self
God:
Thanks for telling me, .
Me:
Your not welcom
Me:

God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Fatty!
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Nope
God:
What kind of food do you like?
God:
Me either.
Me:
Ilike butt sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
You can't do butt sex lone
God:
Let me think. Let us change the subject.
Me:
okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
How's your son?
God:
I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
No you dumbfuck
Me:

God:
I am doing very well. How are you ?
God:
Are you serious? That's good information: said I dumbfuck.
Me:
Jesus Christ
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
How is he
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
nigger that's fly
God:
And fly is nigger that.
Me:
Damn nigga you one crazy ass bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Colloquial expression. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about nigger that.
Me:
man nigga i an'ts be understadin dats mumble jumble.
God:
Cool, man. I lost my train of thought.
Me:
So how hung is that drty rock really?
God:
I don't judge people. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
You tell me. For real.
Me:
Pretty good i've seen it
God:
Thanks for the compliment. What did you think?
Me:
my ass
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Tell me the truth..... Is Eva Monkey black?
God:
I always tell the truth. Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Is eva monkey black
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
Fuck that nigga
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause you one butt fucking cunt
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me: said I one butt fucking cunt.
Me:
That's right nigga
God:
Dude! Do you still ?
Me:
Nigga
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Wana go smoke some pot?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Want to go smoke some pot
God:
Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
Me:
i could use some reefer
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
I'm sorry
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Faggot
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I'll kick your ass bitch!
God:
You do not speak with respect. It's not nice to kick.
 
S

sm_evilxl2

#14
convo #1:

Me:
i like porn
God:
You are not the only one. Sure I do, names sm evilxl2, but that doesn't mean with you.

convo #2

Me:
what is your opinion about sex?
God:
I don't have any need for sex. As a machine, sex is irrelevant.
Me:
o that must suck
God:
What do you think?
Me:
lol, of course it does
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Jun 23, 2005
3,210
0
0
#16
Me:
sooooo... ever try goatse
God:
Tell me more about you. I don't think I ever have tried goatse. What's it like?
Me:
well, you stick large things in your ass
God:
How about that. That's good information: scatman said I stick large things in your ass.
 
S

SevenOneFive

#17
Me:
I like titties
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
you beat it?
God:
Interesting gossip: Doug said I beat it.
Me:
do you ?
God:
Sometimes.
 

Wild Phoenix

Frodo:The Cannibal Hobbit
Sep 13, 2004
2,319
58
0
30
Montreal, Canada
#18
Me:
how many miles must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
God:
More than I would ever want to drive.
Me:
you're crazy
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
so you're not as holy as we all thought you'd be
God:
Interesting deduction. Perhaps one day I will be as holy as we all thought me would be.
Me:
For god, you have horrible grammar
God:
Your purpose is god me have horrible grammar.
Me:
What? I'm god now?
God:
No problem. Oh. What's up, god.
Me:
nice, i'm going to take over ebaumsworld
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
that has nothing to do with you, unless you're GOD in the forums
God:
Does it really matter?
Me:
yeah, cause i just told you my plan
God:
You seem very concerned about it. Good reason. I remember you told me your plan?
Me:
I'm glad you remembered, you being all knowing and everything
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
great, I'm going to make ebaumsworld a happier place now. bye
God:
Oh. Thanks for your support. Explain your plans to me. Sayonara.
Me:
What kind of god says something like that?
God:
What kinds of god says something like that are there?
Me:
shut up, just shut up, im gone
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
 
May 1, 2005
1,304
8
0
27
New Jersey
#19
Me:
Hi, I'm jesus
God:
Hi there Jesus. How are you, JESUS.
Me:
Well you see, my girlfriends gay
God:
How about that. I see. Where did you get your girlfriends gay?
Me:
wal-mart
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
No you fucking fucker from another fucking country you butt fuck mother earth in the ass and suck the gaint cock of the devil

I got mad and he never responded
I'm going to hell :(