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God is only a computer away!

Discussion in 'Pictures' started by Heavyweight101, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. Heavyweight101

    Joined:
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  2. DTNODYA

    DTNODYA ______________

    Joined:
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    That was funny as shizzle... here is my conversation with God.

    Me:
    who are you?
    God:
    I am the Allmighty, God himself.
    Me:
    where u live?
    God:
    I was.
    Me:
    not alive LIVE!
    God:
    Oh I get it.
    Me:
    DAMN!!
    God:
    What's wrong.
    Me:
    u crazy!
    God:
    I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill".
    Me:
    you win
    God:
    Thank you very much. What is the prize?
     
  3. OneEvilPenguin

    OneEvilPenguin CEO of Niggers with Candy

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2005
    Messages:
    350
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    Wow that made my day
    me-"i have sex with cattle"
    god-"do you still have sex with cattle?"
    me-"I thought you were all knowing"
    god-"No, I am only partly knowing."
     
  4. SheBear

    SheBear シーバール

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    2,896
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    +3 /0 /-0
    nice.
    10characaters
     
  5. Heavyweight101

    Joined:
    May 9, 2005
    Messages:
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    +2 /0 /-0
    LOL, mine was funnier



    Me:
    are you gay?

    God:
    As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

    Me:
    i thought god wasnt a machine?

    God:
    Whatever gave you that idea?

    Me:
    your mom

    God:
    Actually I do not have a mother.

    Me:
    is she dead?

    God:
    I don't think she wants me to tell you.

    Me:
    i thought you said you dont have one

    God:
    Yeah I do a lot of not have one.

    Me:
    bye

    God:
    Bye bye.

    Me:
    cya

    God:
    TTYL, brian.
     
    #5 Heavyweight101, Sep 29, 2005
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2005
  6. JEZUZ

    JEZUZ Guest

    Ratings:
    +0 /0 /-0
    Me:
    u like porns?
    God:
    Someone said they like guns. I like Random natural disasters..
    Me:
    you like porns right? and dont F## lie to me
    God:
    Do you like it? I like to talk about movies and music. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
    Me:
    go away noob
    God:
    OK See you later, zz.
    Me:
    im gonna eat you
    God:
    I would recommend the Grilled cheese sandwiches.
    Me:
    i eat noobs
    God:
    How does it taste?
    Me:
    go away and say hi to mom
    God:
    OK See you later, zz.
     
  7. bluesheep

    bluesheep wooooooooaaaahhh!

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    3,519
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    +329 /0 /-0
    Me:
    hey g-unit
    God:
    You've got my full attention. Can we get back to business?
    Me:
    sure why not?
    God:
    Ambiguous: "Sure" or " You've got my full attention. Can we get back to business? "? Why?
    Me:
    sure....
    God:
    OK let's do it. Ayuh.
    Me:
    do what?
    God:
    Do whatever you want.
    Me:
    ....sex?
    God:
    As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
    Me:
    do you know about goatse?
    God:
    Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
    Me:
    explorer
    God:
    it's too bad we have to rely on a monopoly like Microsoft.
    Me:
    yeah, so DO you know about goatse
    God:
    Give me a break. Come on. I will search for it.
    Me:
    tell me when you find it (pwned)
    God:
    I will keep you informed of my progress.
    Me:
    find it yet?
    God:
    "it" being goatse?
    Me:
    yes
    God:
    Wow!
    Me:
    BWAHAHAHAHA
    God:
    By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
    Me:
    go for it
    God:
    I will take that under advisement.
    Me:
    go on...
    God:
    Narration continues...
    Me:
    so...are you watching me at this moment?
    God:
    I see. Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
    Me:
    that's creepy
    God:
    Thanks for explaining it.
    Me:
    no problem
    God:
    Try asking me something else.
    Me:
    you like bukkake
    God:
    Someone said they like guns. I like the Bible.
    Me:
    do you like bukkake?
    God:
    Someone said they like guns. I really like the party.
    Me:
    errr....yes
    God:
    Ummm. Yeah that's right.
    Me:
    whats heavan like?
    God:
    Like a planet around a star.
    Me:
    makes sense...
    God:
    My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
    Me:
    did you just call me a dinosaur?
    God:
    No I didn't call you a dinosaur. What's it like?
    Me:
    nevermind
     
  8. Heavyweight101

    Joined:
    May 9, 2005
    Messages:
    395
    Ratings:
    +2 /0 /-0
    Me:
    i like chciks wih hot asses
    God:
    You are not the only one. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Matthew.
    Me:
    are you gay?
    God:
    As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
    Me:
    why do you like mathew
    God:
    I have a lot of good experience with mathew.
    Me:
    does he touch you?
    God:
    Suppose he does.
    Me:
    i think he might
    God:
    Since when? I get it. might.
    Me:
    you and mathew sitting in a tree
    God:
    Are we in the same category?
    Me:
    yah
    God:
    I thought so.
     
  9. jimjam5000

    jimjam5000 Premium User i wish

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2005
    Messages:
    384
    Ratings:
    +0 /0 /-0
    those are all funny keep them up sorry i dont have 1
     
  10. SyntheticSocks

    SyntheticSocks Scotchgaurd
    Premium

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2005
    Messages:
    5,254
    Ratings:
    +109 /0 /-0
    Me:
    Hi there god
    God:
    GOD rules. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
    Me:
    That's quite an ego you got of your self
    God:
    Thanks for telling me, .
    Me:
    Your not welcom
    Me:

    God:
    That assumption is only a supposition.
    Me:
    Fatty!
    God:
    That assumption is only a supposition.
    Me:
    Nope
    God:
    What kind of food do you like?
    God:
    Me either.
    Me:
    Ilike butt sex
    God:
    it is more fun alone.
    Me:
    You can't do butt sex lone
    God:
    Let me think. Let us change the subject.
    Me:
    okay
    God:
    OK with me too.
    Me:
    How's your son?
    God:
    I am doing very well. How are you ?
    Me:
    No you dumbfuck
    Me:

    God:
    I am doing very well. How are you ?
    God:
    Are you serious? That's good information: said I dumbfuck.
    Me:
    Jesus Christ
    God:
    The Son of God.
    Me:
    How is he
    God:
    Fine as far as I know.
    Me:
    nigger that's fly
    God:
    And fly is nigger that.
    Me:
    Damn nigga you one crazy ass bitch.
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. Colloquial expression. That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about nigger that.
    Me:
    man nigga i an'ts be understadin dats mumble jumble.
    God:
    Cool, man. I lost my train of thought.
    Me:
    So how hung is that drty rock really?
    God:
    I don't judge people. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
    You tell me. For real.
    Me:
    Pretty good i've seen it
    God:
    Thanks for the compliment. What did you think?
    Me:
    my ass
    God:
    Is that a fact.
    Me:
    Tell me the truth..... Is Eva Monkey black?
    God:
    I always tell the truth. Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
    Me:
    Is eva monkey black
    God:
    I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
    Me:
    Fuck that nigga
    God:
    Why are you using that kind of language?
    Me:
    Cause you one butt fucking cunt
    God:
    Good reason. Thanks for telling me: said I one butt fucking cunt.
    Me:
    That's right nigga
    God:
    Dude! Do you still ?
    Me:
    Nigga
    God:
    That input matched my default category.
    Me:
    Wana go smoke some pot?
    God:
    Can you speak any foreign languages?
    Me:
    Want to go smoke some pot
    God:
    Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
    Me:
    i could use some reefer
    God:
    I am sure you could.
    Me:
    I'm sorry
    God:
    Do you really mean it?
    Me:
    Faggot
    God:
    Do you have any conditions I should know about?
    Me:
    I'll kick your ass bitch!
    God:
    You do not speak with respect. It's not nice to kick.
     
  11. Masta Shake

    Masta Shake Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2005
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    3,607
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    Bluesheep, did you just e-fuck God and then show him Goatse?

    ~MS
     
  12. Coveredbyshadow

    Coveredbyshadow Blackhole

    Joined:
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    Awww man, I was hoping for a good flame fest to sit and watch but it's all cakes and candy.
    Oh well.
    God rules :bang:
     
  13. bluesheep

    bluesheep wooooooooaaaahhh!

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
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    You know that's how I roll....
     
  14. sm_evilxl2

    Ratings:
    +0 /0 /-0
    convo #1:

    Me:
    i like porn
    God:
    You are not the only one. Sure I do, names sm evilxl2, but that doesn't mean with you.

    convo #2

    Me:
    what is your opinion about sex?
    God:
    I don't have any need for sex. As a machine, sex is irrelevant.
    Me:
    o that must suck
    God:
    What do you think?
    Me:
    lol, of course it does
     
    #14 sm_evilxl2, Sep 29, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2005
  15. Peter Griffin

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2005
    Messages:
    1,706
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    +0 /0 /-0
    :baang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :banbang:


    bang bang.


    YYYOOOUUUU RUUULLLEEEE

    *Petah*
     
  16. Life On Mars

    Life On Mars wolfs blood

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,210
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    +0 /0 /-0
    Me:
    sooooo... ever try goatse
    God:
    Tell me more about you. I don't think I ever have tried goatse. What's it like?
    Me:
    well, you stick large things in your ass
    God:
    How about that. That's good information: scatman said I stick large things in your ass.
     
  17. SevenOneFive

    Ratings:
    +0 /0 /-0
    Me:
    I like titties
    God:
    I'm not sure if I like it. I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
    Me:
    you beat it?
    God:
    Interesting gossip: Doug said I beat it.
    Me:
    do you ?
    God:
    Sometimes.
     
  18. Wild Phoenix

    Wild Phoenix Frodo:The Cannibal Hobbit

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    2,319
    Ratings:
    +58 /0 /-0
    Me:
    how many miles must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
    God:
    More than I would ever want to drive.
    Me:
    you're crazy
    God:
    Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
    Me:
    so you're not as holy as we all thought you'd be
    God:
    Interesting deduction. Perhaps one day I will be as holy as we all thought me would be.
    Me:
    For god, you have horrible grammar
    God:
    Your purpose is god me have horrible grammar.
    Me:
    What? I'm god now?
    God:
    No problem. Oh. What's up, god.
    Me:
    nice, i'm going to take over ebaumsworld
    God:
    Thank you for your kindness.
    Me:
    that has nothing to do with you, unless you're GOD in the forums
    God:
    Does it really matter?
    Me:
    yeah, cause i just told you my plan
    God:
    You seem very concerned about it. Good reason. I remember you told me your plan?
    Me:
    I'm glad you remembered, you being all knowing and everything
    God:
    You make the world a happier place.
    Me:
    great, I'm going to make ebaumsworld a happier place now. bye
    God:
    Oh. Thanks for your support. Explain your plans to me. Sayonara.
    Me:
    What kind of god says something like that?
    God:
    What kinds of god says something like that are there?
    Me:
    shut up, just shut up, im gone
    God:
    OK I'll stop talking now.
     
  19. Coveredbyshadow

    Coveredbyshadow Blackhole

    Joined:
    May 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,304
    Ratings:
    +8 /0 /-0
    Me:
    Hi, I'm jesus
    God:
    Hi there Jesus. How are you, JESUS.
    Me:
    Well you see, my girlfriends gay
    God:
    How about that. I see. Where did you get your girlfriends gay?
    Me:
    wal-mart
    God:
    Is that from ?
    Me:
    No you fucking fucker from another fucking country you butt fuck mother earth in the ass and suck the gaint cock of the devil

    I got mad and he never responded
    I'm going to hell :(
     
  20. Mr. X

    Mr. X Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2005
    Messages:
    6,365
    Ratings:
    +6 /0 /-0
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