Jokes Forum Should Come Back

G-manMET

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May 4, 2004
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#1
You ever hear about those plane crashes were only one kid survived?

It's like, why didn't they make the plane out of that one kid
 

Slvtrdr

aspiring raper
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Nov 2, 2010
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#2
David Miller left this message board..:confuzed:
 
Jun 5, 2007
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#3
You ever hear about those plane crashes were only one kid survived?

It's like, why didn't they make the plane out of that one kid
lol is that a spoof of dave chappelles black box joke? Its pretty funny and stupid.
 

duel

Active Member
Dec 13, 2004
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#4
I told my friend ten puns to see if any would make her laugh.

Unfortunately no pun in ten did.
 

lemmiwinx

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#7
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend. The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.

They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."

There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "
 

lemmiwinx

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#8
Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"

The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."
 

brian

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Jan 16, 2009
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#9
A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while. Eventually he returns home and he is now a Christian. The man finds this to be odd and mentions it to his friend. The friend listens, thinks for a moment and says, "That's odd. I sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the two of them went to see the Rabbi.

They told the Rabbi the story of how they had both sent their sons to Israel as Jews, and how both sons had returned as Christians. The Rabbi listened, thought for a minute and then said "That's odd. I also sent my son to Israel as a Jew and he returned as a Christian." So the three of them decide to go to Israel to find out what's going on over there. The arrive and go straight to the Western Wall to pray. They explain to God all about how they sent their sons to Israel as Jews and how the all returned as Christians."

There is a long silence, and then God begins to speak saying, "That's odd . . . "
Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"

The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."
^this is why we shouldnt have a jokes forum.
 

lemmiwinx

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#10
A mob drags a man into a police station for running over 13 people, while shouting "Murderer! Killer!" The policeman disperses the crowd and begins to interrogate the suspect.

The policeman : Tell me what happened.

The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to crash the car into a group of 12 people or to swerve into a single person. Am I a monster for deciding to swerve into the single person?

Policeman : No, that sounds like a difficult yet reasonable decision. But tell me how did you end up killing 13 people?

Suspect : Well that son of a bitch ran towards the other 12.
 

HolidayFriday

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Nov 17, 2012
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California, USA
#14
Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain.

The first one pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to the other one and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. I know where we are."
"Where are we then?"
"Do you see that mountain over there?"
"Yes."
"Well… THAT'S where we are."
 

lemmiwinx

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#15
A young artist exhibits his work for the first time and a well known art critic is in attendance. The critic says to the young artist "Would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes" says the artist.

"It's worthless" says the critic

The artist replies, "I know but tell me anyway."






Yuk, yuk!
 

Slvtrdr

aspiring raper
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Nov 2, 2010
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#16
Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.
 

lemmiwinx

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#17
Q: How do you tell a Sunni from a Shiite?
A: The Sunnis are the ones with the Shiite blown out of them.

They got it exactly backwards. It's the Sunnis who blow up Shiites because they're the wrong kind of Muslim. Sunnis are much more intolerant of other faiths than any other violent death cult religion that we know of on Earth.

I would avoid any country where Sunnis are allowed to practice their "religion".
 

Slvtrdr

aspiring raper
Super Moderator
Nov 2, 2010
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#18
Q: How can you tell if a Muslim girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down until her chin is over the top.
 

lemmiwinx

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#19
A blonde goes into the gynecologist. When he asks her what the problem is she replies, "Something is extremely wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina!"

He takes a look and laughs, "Dear, those aren't stamps. Those are stickers from the bananas.”
 

Acockolypse Now

Ms. Potato Dick
Jul 6, 2011
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#20
A blonde goes into the gynecologist. When he asks her what the problem is she replies, "Something is extremely wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina!"

He takes a look and laughs, "Dear, those aren't stamps. Those are stickers from the bananas.”
That was actually funny. Nice job.