Ever wanted to be a God? Are you a God and need to improve your Godly-powers? Well, in this thread, you will receive the help you need. So, you want to learn how to be a God? Step on up! Lesson 1: The first thing to being a God is to remember to have a sense of humor. This will explain all unanswered questions to the little people you create. Lesson 2: Over-population of your universe can be funny, but costly. To fight over-population, it's a good idea to create natural disasters, such as tornadoes, earthquakes, and Jesse Jackson. Lesson 3: Don't limit all your creative abilities to one planet, or even one design scheme. Our universe contains planets and stars. Our neighboring universe is set up as a line of cities, all with different organisms. The universe neighboring that is made up of cheese balls and shoestrings. Lesson 4: When creating and maintaining your universe, have fun. Play with your creations. Make them hate you, love you, or even fear you. This can be accomplished through a myriad of ways. My favorite is to pick a creation up by the head and smash him against a heavy object. Lesson 5: Remember to clean up your creation area when you're finished. How to create your own universe: For this project you'll need -- 1 glass bowl, some newspapers, salt and pepper, sperm cells and unfertilized egg cells, some creativity, and of course, Mom and Dad's permission. Clear off a spot on the kitchen counter. In the glass bowl, mix the lemon juice with the powdered sugar. Slowly add the eggs, three-to-eight of them, depending on your favorite color. Beat the ingredients together with a fork and a smelly shoe. The smells from the shoe will get the atoms moving. Now it's time to add the sperm and egg cells. First, combine both the sperm and egg cells in a plastic sandwich bag. Beat the sandwich bag savagely. Add in some sulfuric acid, and then dip the bag into a vat of liquid nitrogen. Add the contents of the bag into the egg-lemon juice mixture. Stir well and set aside. At this time, it's a good idea to take a restroom break. When you return from taking the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl, it's time to get creative. Take your mixture and start forming your creations. Place them on the newspaper and say the magic incantation. On your counter you should now see a universe start to form. Use the menu on the screen to add and delete natural disasters, multiply your creations, start wars, etc. Don't forget to have fun, and clean up when you're finished.