Precious Momes

Nov 16, 2006
282
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#15
I dunno I like deep thoughts by Jack Handey better:

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and how I named him Flint.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
 

SIKKENT

By Name and Nature
Oct 2, 2006
894
0
0
#18
oh man, these are gold. heres some of my faves so far:

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

heres the link btw: http://www.cco.net/~jpete/deepthou.htm

EDIT: this is the funniest one by far:

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
 
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Nemo

omeN
Premium
Oct 26, 2006
4,941
4
0
#19
oh man, these are gold. heres some of my faves so far:

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

heres the link btw: http://www.cco.net/~jpete/deepthou.htm
:lmao:

the boxing one made me lol :D