Seinfield quotes-Add and make people smile!

Apr 1, 2004
hey, everyone needs a smile and right now i definitely will need some.
so post some seinfield quotes that u have always loved.
a good site with tons of quotes from seinfield--
you are allowed to post that, right? if not, tell me and i will remove it immediately.

"Um, excuse me, I - I think you forgot my bread."
"Bread, two dollars extra."
"Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread."
"You want bread?"
"Yes, please."
"Three dollars!"
"No soup for you!"
- George and the Soup Nazi, in "The Soup Nazi"

"Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year."
- George, in "The Phone Message"
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Fastest Member
Aug 21, 2003
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"Who told you to put the cheese on? I didn't tell you to put the cheese on... You people and the cheese, it never ends." -Jackie Chiles

"So when somebody has B.O., the "O" usually stays with the "B". Once the "B" leaves, the "O" goes with it." -Jerry

"You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine." -Kramer

"Serenity now, insanity later." -Lloyd Braun


Jerry: Oh, this is interesting...
Elaine: What?
Jerry: Jane's topless.
[everyone takes a look]
Cosmo Kramer: Yo yo ma.
Jerry: Boutros Boutros Ghali...
Elaine: Nice rack.

Jerry: This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back sir?
Jerry: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
[hangs up the phone]

Jerry: I'm not gay...not that there's anything WRONG with that!

[At the Puerto Rican Day Parade]
Elaine: We don't know how long this will last! They are a very festive people!!

Elaine: Ooo, ba-NA-na...

Mr. Peterman: Elaine, up until a few minutes ago, I was convinced I was on the receiving end of the oldest baker's grift in the books - The Enterman's Shim Sham. Until I remembered my security camera, which I installed to catch other Walter using my latrine.
[shows video of her eating his cake]
Elaine: But, Mr. Peterman, I...
Mr. Peterman: Elaine, I have a question for you - is the item still with you?
Elaine: I guess so...
Mr. Peterman: Elaine, do you have any idea what happens to a butter-based frosting after sitting 60 years in a poorly ventilated English basement? I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed.

[Elaine's boyfriend as seen a photo of her with her nipple exposed]
Elaine: Let me tell you, I didn't intentionally bare myself, but now, I wish I had. For it's not me who has been exposed, but you. For I have seen the nipple on your soul!

Jerry: Elaine, he's a male bimbo. He's a mimbo!

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Oct 25, 2009
"No soup for you!"
- George and the Soup Nazi, in "The Soup Nazi"
I hear the soup Nazi actually opened up a successful restaurant in downtown New York because of that one Epic episode. It would definitely be on the 'to-do' list if we hit up New York.