Last night I had a dream that I was on an airplane full of Chads. I was me, but I wasn't, if that makes sense. I was the girlfriend of the Chaddiest Chad of the Chads, Chad Kroeger. It was my job to make him appear to be as cool as possible, at least, according to his standards. He ordered me to get him a drink, but didn't want just any old drink. He wanted "a cool drink." I brought him a beer. "It's not cool enough!" I brought him a whiskey on the rocks. "Not cool enough!" I brought him some fru-fru bitch drink with umbrellas and fruit and a glow stick sticking out of it. "Perfect!" He wanted to change into cooler clothes. I brought him douchey looking ripped jeans with a spraypainted cross and sparkles all the fuck over it. "Not cool enough!" I said, "Do you want them to fucking glow in the dark?" "Hell yeah!" And the plane was full of douchebags. I was never so happy to wake up next to a non-Chad.